Monthly Archives: February 2012

Ladies: Meet Your Substitute Boyfriend

This month (and a half, but that story comes later) I tried out the Vibrating Realistic — Realistic Vibrator from Doc Johnson. As usual, the toy was delivered promptly and in a normal, discrete USPS box. The box inside, however, the one you’d get at an actual store, is anything but discrete! This bad boy looks pretty intimidating on first glance as well, since he clocks in at 8 inches long and 2 inches in diameter and has some pretty hefty balls attached. This one is not for a beginner, but he’s not nearly as scary as he sounds or looks.

Use

Since this guy is molded from a cock and looks like a cock, it’s pretty much best to use it like you would a cock. It does have a vibrating tip, so you can use it elsewhere for vibrating stimulation, but I found it best to use as my substitute boyfriend when I can’t actually have him. This vibrator is made of rubber, though, so you will notice a strong smell right when you open the box. The smell goes away to nearly nothing after washing, so I’d recommend washing this guy (along with all toys) before use.

Design/Features

The vibrations in this guy are controlled by a remote that attaches to a cord plugged into the base of the vibrator. The remote can be detached from the cord, but the cord SHOULD NOT be detached from the vibrator. If the cord does come out, the instructions that come with the toy give a few tips for how to reattach. On the remote, you have several features. You have on and off, which are separate switches from the levels… a feature I LOVE in toys with variable levels. There are about seven different levels of intensity variation to the vibration. As mentioned, the vibrating part is located at the tip of the toy, so if you are using this primarily for the vibrations, you’re not going to get anything at all from the base of the toy. Oh, and don’t believe the listing online about batteries. You will need 3 AAA batteries, NOT AA batteries.

The structure is nice, too. The rubber means that this guy isn’t completely hard, though he’s definitely hard enough to insert and use as substitute boyfriend! I like the give he has since it means he’s not going to be totally unforgiving of my movements. There is also a suction cup base that works relatively well against most bathroom-type surfaces and floors. If you’re creative, you can also use the suction cup as a base to fit through an o-ring to make this a more realistic looking strap on dildo. I haven’t had the opportunity to try this completely with a partner yet, but it’s on the list.

Performance

Since this guy is a little bigger, I recommend either making sure you’re really warmed up first or using a little lube to get things going. The fact that he’s a little forgiving helps, but you still don’t want to stick or force things. For me, the vibration on the tip does nothing at all once inserted, but there is enough there to easily get me off when using the toy against my clit. This guy still feels the most realistic of any toy I’ve tried thus far, but my personal preference would be to either have a little something extra to grind against as well, or a little vibration at or near the base. If you’re the type that you can’t get off with purely penetration, this is probably not the toy for you, unless you want to add another something to the mix. As far as satisfying penetration goes, however, this guy takes top honors in my book.

Maintenance

The only difficult part of maintenance is making sure not to pull out the cord attached to the toy. It’s easy to clean with soap and hot water, and all the evidence of your fun is very easily washed away. Do not get the controller wet, however, since it is not waterproof and water and batteries do not mix well. This guy comes with his own little storage bag to keep him clean in between uses, but I still recommend washing before each use to help negate some of the rubber smell.

Eden Experience

So here’s the story I promised at the very beginning of this review. When I first received this toy, I took him out of the box immediately, all excited to have a new toy to try out. And then… Nothing. Tried different batteries, tried everything else I could think of, and nothing happened. As it turns out, Eden has a FANTASTIC return policy, and they make it easier than pie to return. Put broken toy back in original packaging (both inner box and shipping box), fill out return form online, print return label, and head down to the UPS or USPS store. Seriously, that’s it. No shipping charges, no fuss, nothing. I had my new, working toy within a week of putting my original broken one in the mail. Moral of the story: Don’t despair if your purchase isn’t what you expected! Eden’s return program will help!

Overall, this is a pretty good realistic vibrator. For those of you in long distance relationships and missing certain parts of your partner, I’d definitely recommend this guy. He may not be for everyone (if you don’t like big toys or need more than penetration, look elsewhere), but for those of us who enjoy realistic, this is a keeper.

The vibrating realistic — realistic dildo was provided to the reviewer free of charge in exchange for the review from Eden Fantasys. To see the product, please visit http://www.edenfantasys.com/vibrators/realistic-dildo-vibrators/vibrating-realistic.
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